Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Day 16 - I need a victory

Weight: 192.2

Feeling: My shoulder really seems to be improving.  My knee is not bad, but I may have to look into a brace or some sort of support for workouts to keep it that way. 

Eating: I am my own worst enemy.  I am still not deep in ketosis and still struggling with things like late night snacking and eating close to my critical carb level.  I'm still in small to trace most of the time. 

Moving: After a great workout the night before last, I took it easy yesterday and just did some yoga stretching.  I am torn between my daily workout goal (which I already blew) and the concept of 3-4 workouts per week that seems to be so popular.  Our Tuesday schedule was thrown off last night and I was struggling with other things so forcing myself to do the stretching was as much as I had in me.

Food isn't comfort, it isn't entertainment, it isn't supposed to be anything other than fuel.  Is food to be enjoyed?  Yes, of course, that's fine, but it really needs to be "enjoyed" within it's actual purpose, to fuel the body to work.  But too often I am guilty of turning to it for other things:

- comfort in disappointment, sadness of frustration
- entertainment for boredom
- fulfillment of a non-hunger craving ("I just want something sweet"... "salty"... "crunchy"...)

It's a poor substitute for comfort and entertainment, and just saying no to a craving is a good thing, but still the inclination is to turn to it anyway, even knowing it will bring regret and disappointment in myself after the fact.

I have gotten BETTER in these areas, but I have not found total victory.  Last night it was pistachios and a diet soda at 11 pm.  I weighed myself before hand and my weight was actually very close to my morning weight which is atypical.  I KNEW I should just pass on a snack or even just go to bed.  I KNEW better, but I still went back out into the kitchen and back in front of the TV and found something to indulge in.  I really need to work on that.  Who knows? My weight might have been even better this morning if I'd just said no.  I wasn't hungry, I just wanted something to snack on, and once you start on a bag of pistachios, it's hard to stop,  No, I didn't eat the whole bag, but I ate too many. (One was probably too many.)

If I don't get these issues under control and get victory in these areas I will always be highly prone to fall back into my old bad habits and put my weight back on.  It not only puts me at risk of never getting to my goal, it puts me at risk going back to a weight I never want to be again.  I've got to get the victory over these battles.

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