Finding hunger

When my kids were babies, I was a big believer in "demand feeding." I wasn't one of those moms who set a schedule and kept it, I waited till they cried and then I fed them. I had a pediatrician who was relentless about having to feed every 3 hours "from beginning to beginning" and it caused a near panic in me when I first brought him home. He was far more interested in sleep than food (boy has that changed!) So I finally went with the demand feeding plan, it made sense, when they were hungry you would feed them.

When they were toddlers I used the same method to deal with picky eaters. I wouldn't cook different meals for every family member, what I fixed they ate. My theory was "when they got hungry enough, they would eat." Unfortunately we did a LOT of fast food eating when the kids were little because first it was how I managed being a working mom when Jake was little, and it was how I handled being an exhausted mom when I had two babies 10 months apart. So picky wasn't often an issue, but when it was, they ate what I gave them, they would always be hungry enough, eventually they'd eat.

Brilliant! But somehow I have completely failed at applying this principle to my own life. I eat because something sounds good, or I eat because "it's time." I eat because it's tied to fellowship. Or I eat in response to any number or emotional reasons. Basically, I eat and eat and eat, and I have eaten so much that true hunger is actually hard for me to recognize.

Finding hunger shouldn't be a difficult task. Like a gauge for a gas tank, I should be able to recognize the signs of true hunger, but I'm not. It has been so long since I waited and ate because I was truly hungry that now I struggle with the signs. But God designed the body to give signals, and the bottom line is, I have to learn to read them again, and food can return to it's proper position as fuel for my body instead of a sedative for my soul.


Today's weight: 220.4

Today's battles: Finding true hunger.

Today's better choice: I brushed my teeth before sitting down to write this blog and watch TV with Neal to reduce my temptation to have a snack, especially since Jake is making homemade cookies right now!

Today's defeat: Focused on food for over an hour trying to figure out IF I should eat, and WHAT I should eat. It was too obsessive.

Today's victory: Walked to church tonight (3 1/2 miles) and had over 6,300 "aerobic" steps.