TWENTY

It's like a mile marker along this journey. The "20 lb" weight loss. It took 51 days to get here, which seems sort of long, but when I do the math (because I am a "do the math" kind of girl) I am actually losing 2.75 pounds per week, which is actually a very good rate. Wii Fit only recommends a pound per week, so you know, I'm ahead of the game.

At some point today I want to go to the grocery store. I don't want to buy anything, I just want to go in the frozen section and pull out a 20 lb bag of ice and pick it up for a minute. It's a great hands on example for me of exactly what I've lost. (Though I wish it melted more like ice.) When I put my skirt on this morning it was looser, noticeably so. I definitely FEEL better, but the truth is, when you have 80 pounds to lose, 20 is not evident in appearance. No one else is really noticing the loss, so for me, going in and grabbing that bag of ice will actually reinforce the sense of accomplishment.

Yes, that's right, I said 80 lbs, actually 81.2 is my original goal. I'd like to get down to a weight about 12 lbs above where I was when I got married. Maybe it's a lofty goal, perhaps too lofty, and maybe I will find the skin sags and the effort won't accomplish it, or even be satisfied at an early mile marker, but for now, it's the goal I have set - 5 lbs more than what my driver's license says, and my aim.

I could dream that it means only another 153 days, but I know the pace of loss will ebb and flow, and only get harder as I get closer, but at least i can hope that by my birthday next March I might be able to buy myself some new clothes. Time will tell, for now, I press on.