My fat jeans are getting tight.

And my bra is starting to cut into my side.

I am too ashamed to get back on the Wii Fit. How sad is that? I have gained at least 18 lbs. since the last time I got on it, and I cannot BEAR to here the weighted grunt of the little work out buddy, so I keep slipping further and further into "debt" on the scale. And now my "fat jeans" are tight.

I am so exasperated with myself.

I do great every day until I open my mouth and eat for the first time. Then it's like it all goes to heck in a basket... a picnic basket to be specific.

I've been contemplating going back on Atkins. It's like returning to Egypt in my mind, but it is effective. I'm really considering it since I know by this time next week there will be lots of Easter candy to resist. Not as much as in years past and in fact the thought I had of going out to grab a couple more things probably isn't going to happen, because the fact is, I'm not the only chubby at this ranch.

I have also considered a fast. I never recommend a fast for diet purposes, but although I am aware of the effectiveness of fasting on weight loss, I am more focused on the possibility that it could break the power food seems to have over me. But I also know it won't work if it's just my idea and wrongly motivated. I've never fasted successfully without the help of the Holy Spirit. Of course my last successful fast seemed to unleash the flesh fest that led to this huge weight change in the wrong direction.

I have considered the possibility of not putting a single thing in my mouth without praying about it first, but once the food is before me, it seems like the idea fades and I don't actually remember the thought at all.

I'm sitting here now stuffed and miserable from Taco Tuesday and Dollar Scoop Night, and still the thought of hitting the kitchen still plays in my mind. What is wrong with me? Why is my will so weak?

It's getting desperate. I threw all my really fat clothes out last year, and I am bound for the world of sweats soon if I don't get my act together. Summer is coming, and I want to be beach bound and playing at the water park this summer. At this point I'm not even sure my bathing suit would fit, much less if I want to be seen in it. I've got to make a move. I'm 2 lbs above where I was when I started this blog. At least I was this morning, I don't know, it may be worse after today.

I've got to do something. I've got to get moving again. People used to ask me when I was losing all my weight how I did it. "Easy," I'd answer, "eat less and move more." Still seems simple, but I'd no longer describe it as easy. But I've got to get my act together.

Lord, help me!